How NOT to Speak Geek

Many of you are familiar with the old saying, “There’s a time and place for everything.” But, maybe we should coin a new phrase, “There’s a time and place for acronyms!”

How many of you have had the “pleasure” to speak to someone who inundates the conversation with words specifically related to their industry or interests? You know, people who believe they are impressing you with their knowledge of technical jargon, or maybe they secretly love watching you scratch your head in wonder. This is otherwise known as Geekspeak!

Geekspeak is using language that is technical in nature (usually computer related), often using acronyms or terms that are specific to the subject matter. This is perfectly acceptable when speaking to a like-minded individual, but it’s damn right rude and condescending when having a conversation with “others”.

Having worked in the computer industry for decades, I could probably dazzle the “unenlightened” with my knowledge of acronyms, CPUs – central processing units, LAN – local area network, ROM – read-only memory, blah, blah, blah, but if you come to me for advice on what computer to buy, I’m your gal, for I will only talk to you in English. After all, I’m supposed to be helpful. This should be a learning situation. So, if you run into “one of them”, walk away. No, actually run to the nearest exit.

Here are some common acronyms you might come across (but hopefully not)!

CEO (chief executive officer, CFO (chief financial officer), CMO (chief marketing officer). CTO (chief technology officer). I swear that every few weeks they come up with a new one. Remember the days when you just had a boss??? Hey, I just came up with a new one: COB (chief overpaid boss). No explanation necessary! ha!

CRM (customer relationship management). It refers to software tools that companies use to direct their customer interactions. Isn’t that like, talking to someone to see what they need? LOL!

HR (human resources). As opposed to what? It’s nice to know that they still consider their employees to be human! Oh, and while we are here, you might hear people talking about PTO (paid time off). They’re just vacation days, but someone woke from a dream, and stated, “No, we need another acronym!” and PTO was born. Guess I was one of the lucky ones who never had an HR department.

PA (performance appraisal). Oh, in easy terms, when you’re called into the office (do they still call them offices?) and told that you’re fired in no uncertain terms!

TED (tell, explain, describe). Oh, makes me think of one of my undergrad professors. Her favorite phrase? “Please elaborate!” Now, you’d have to ask, “Hey, are you talking to Ted, or to me?”

Anyway, if you’re one of the guilty ones, next time you talk to “someone beneath you”, please have a bit of sympathy and respect for your fellow human beings. They’ll love you more, er, won’t run the other way the next time they see you at a gathering.