That’s Life…

That’s life
That’s what all the people say
You’re riding high in April
Shot down in May…

Words by Frank Sinatra

When I saw the video tonight, it made me think of Frank Sinatra’s song, That’s Life.

Seems too many people let themselves get perturbed by things they can’t control. Some even worry themselves to death or at least give themselves ulcers in the interim. But just as Dr. K states above, in one of his many Guides to Mental Health, we let the things we can’t control, control the things WE CAN CONTROL. And it becomes an unwinnable vicious circle. But as I’ve always believed; you make or break your life each day getting out of bed. If you tell yourself, “It’s gonna be a shitty day,” then you’re probably right. Starting off with a bad attitude tends to lead you in wrong direction. However, if you wake up and say, “I’m gonna have the best day possible!” And barring unforeseen circumstances (things beyond our control), you’ve already given yourself a great head start.

It’s easy to convince ourselves we have power over things we don’t—as if we can force people and situations to go our way simply by trying or pushing harder.

The world would feel a lot safer if this were true. If people did what we thought was best, situations worked out as we believed they should, and nothing challenging or painful ever caught us off guard.

But some things are simply uncontrollable, and it’s exhausting and futile to obsess over them—not to mention disempowering, since we can’t control what’s in our power when we’re fixated on things that aren’t.

Tinybuddha.com

Below are 15 important things to ponder. Many thanks to Lori Deschene for her insight.

1. You can’t control: What other people do.
   You can control: Whether you participate in their behavior or enable them.
   
2. You can’t control: How other people see you.
   You can control: How you show up in your relationships and how you see yourself.
   
3. You can’t control: How other people treat you.
   You can control: How you internalize and respond to their treatment.
   
4. You can’t control: Whether other people like you.
   You can control: How true you are to yourself.
   
5. You can’t control: What other people think, feel, and believe.
   You can control: How you engage about your different opinions, feelings, and beliefs.
   
6. You can’t control: How other people internalize things you say and do.
   You can control: Your intentions and how you respond when you unintentionally hurt someone.
   
7. You can’t control: What happens to other people.
   You can control: How you show up for them when things get hard.
   
8. You can’t control: Your thoughts and feelings.
   You can control: Whether you attach to them, identify with them, or act on them.
   
9. You can’t control: The things that have already happened.
   You can control: What you do in the present.
   
10. You can’t control: Everything that’s going to happen.
    You can control: How you strengthen yourself to handle the unknown.
    
11. You can’t control: The outcome of anything you do.
    You can control: Your efforts.
    
12. You can’t control: Your body aging.
    You can control: How well you take care of your body and how you think about it.
    
13. You can’t control: All aspects of your health.
    You can control: The preventative health measures you take.
    
14. You can’t control: The inevitability of you getting hurt.
    You can control: How you treat yourself when you’re hurting.
    
15. You can’t control: The fact that there’s suffering in the world.
    You can control: Whether you contribute to it or help alleviate it.