Why can’t we all just get along?
In the 1996 movie ‘Mars Attacks’ Jack Nicholson asks the question which was made famous by Rodney King. “Why can’t we all just get along?”
And that’s the question I’m posing to my TL today.
I swear that if it weren’t for a handful of people on my Twitter timeline and for my direct message group, IBIS, I would drop my TW account like a hot potato.
When I joined in July of 2019, it was because of BTS. My daughter, who turned me onto the group, had an account and we found it a fun way to stay in touch with everything related to BTS. So, I thought, why not, we can chat with each other, download photos, and meet like-minded people, known as ARMY. It was fun at first, and an easy way to learn more about BTS, but lately it’s all vitriol and discord. It feels like a battleground.
Visit the TL at any time of the day, and you will experience a war zone, and encounter finger-pointing and a series of rules and regulations. Who knew liking an artist came with an instruction manual? I won’t even try to explain some of the things on this “list”.
- Don’t follow multis – anyone who likes other groups (when did this become a crime?)
- Don’t follow solo stans
- Don’t follow new accounts
- Don’t follow anyone under 18
- Block everyone who follows this person
- Block this entire list of people
- Block anyone who likes (fill in the blank)
- Block anyone who doesn’t like (fill in the blank)
And the list goes on ad nauseum…
It’s getting so bad that many have dropped out of Twitter completely. They grew tired of all the bickering and feuding and were made to feel guilty over things they posted. It’s common to be berated or even threatened in public. And often it’s over trivial things, such as admitting that you didn’t care for a particular outfit that a member was wearing. It’s as though you threatened to assassinate a world leader!
And that’s the part that’s very hard to swallow – the overreactions and overzealousness that’s occurring. Everything is either black or white, or right or wrong. They are no longer any shades of gray. And because of this kind of behavior, innocent people are also being affected.
This week the s—t hit the fan when a man was accidentally put on a public block list (because someone didn’t check their facts) and was suddenly overwhelmed with ARMY assaulting his timeline. Luckily, he was very gracious and forgiving about the incident, but the poor guy didn’t even know who BTS was. Can you imagine? However, this is not an uncommon occurrence. “Twitterers” are asking themselves, what did I do wrong? How did I get on THIS list? Why do these people hate me? It’s mania!
What happened to innocent until proven guilty? Often your only offense is liking a person who was on a list. Guilt by association. That’s all it takes. You are thrown to the dogs for no apparent reason. We are asked to “turn in” people so they can be publicly humiliated in front of the whole world. There is no way to defend yourself because you are immediately judged and found guilty by groups of self-made ARMY appointees. It’s frequently and sadly reminiscent of uglier times we’ve experienced in human history. And as we all know, history does repeat itself.
I realize that there are “bad” people on Twitter, as there are elsewhere in life, but please leave the decision of whether to like/unlike or follow/unfollow someone, for me to decide as a thinking and discerning adult. Please do not act as my judge or jury, or anyone else’s.
I like so many others, simply want to sit back and enjoy BTS without all the uproar, and that’s why I felt I had no choice but to privately (and of my own accord) thin the herd by unfollowing nearly two-hundred people on Twitter this week. While I only follow a limited number, even many of them made me rethink my choices.
I’m weary of the immaturity that’s filtered its way in.
Is it asking too much to want my TL to become that happy place that I once knew? I’m not sure if it is, but I’m trying my best to re-attain it. 💜
Thank you for a well-written post. Valid points. Our fandom on the sms platform has more than doubled since I became ARMY in 2018. There have been numerous situations since I’ve been there that were like yesterday. It’s just we’re bigger now. Add that to the fact that all social media is polarized nowadays since Covid hit coupled with ARMYs intense love & protectiveness for our 7, and it’s going to be a very stressful situation. It’s important to curate your timeline always and to take breaks if you sense things are escalating. We’re a passionate, protective, loyal, and very opinionated bunch. It has served BTS well and has been necessary because of all they have and continue to go through thanks to ignorance. We’re a huge family. Focus on your love for BTS, take breaks when needed, mute various words, keep the count of who you’re following low, as you mentioned, in order to be able to know what those you’re following are doing because the solo rule is especially important since they do have a tendency to create issues for BTS. For the rest, because I can’t remember the other rules you mentioned, just decide for yourself on those. If it’s harmful to BTS and you’re seeing that, then you know it’s not a good thing, but you have to decide for yourself. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do.
Thank you for your kind words. We will keep plodding along and do our best to exemplify the words and actions of BTS.
"…please leave the decision of whether to like/unlike or follow/unfollow someone, for me to decide as a thinking and discerning adult. Please do not act as my judge or jury, or anyone else’s."
I feel this statement deeply. I wonder if other fandoms have this problem of fans trying to dictate the actions of others. You know, if you don't do what they say(vote for this, stream this, buy that) they doubt your sincerity as a true fan. It's quite a narrow-minded way of thinking. We are from different cultures, ages, and life-experiences.DO I have time to stream on every device in my home when I'm working all day and caring for an elderly parent? It's too intense and lacking manners big time, isn't it? I rarely post because the one time I made a friendly suggestion, the lowest of the low came out of the woodwork to threaten and ridicule me. I was stunned and my whole day was ruined. I had my husband increase my security measures and blocked all of these people who seemingly wait to find innocent victims. Twitter is a rough place if one doesn't have thick skin.
Sorry this is so long- I must have been holding in my dismay and anxiety! Thank you for sharing your blog post- it reinforces the truth that there are really good and nice ARMY who connect with BTS's visions. I hope more people like you float to the top of our fandom and the others try to find something more productive than hurting others.
So many valid, well-stated points. Thank you for this.
Borrowing from a well-known question that I think appropriate here, perhaps asking yourself before posting, “What would Namjoon do?”, would be a good starting place. Let’s make BTS proud of us, not embarrassed.
I love this! I’m personally (barely) under the age of 18, and I find it so funny how much people attack minors sometimes. I understand a lot of us are stupid, and they use the minor card, but barring those people, I don’t think we’re all that terrible. I’m just here to stare at BTS pictures until my eyes fall out 😀 thanks for writing this!!
I’m a 2017 ARMY and I agree completely. Wise, compassionate comments like yours give me hope that at least part of ARMY will remain mature and reasonable as we keep massively growing. Thank you.
Thank you for your insight. It is unfortunate that you aren’t happy on the tl lately. I have not seen what you are describing, fortunately. I have not seen those rules, but I have seen them listed on peoples profiles. I respect that, especially those who state they hard Stan and put no underage 18+. I find that to be a positive thing to do. I have seen an unfollow this account a few times but I never paid it much attention. I did get bullied the first week I got on Twitter because something I said was misunderstood. I was going to stay away, but I found so much healing, happy, moments of pause from my deep grief, laughter when I could t find it near me. I go on Twitter everyday. I find at least 5 people having a bad day. And I give them words of encouragement, post a quote image, ask them if they need someone to talk to and keep my
dM open. I do understand what you are saying but unfortunately I am new army (about 9 months) so I probably have no room to comment. I just wanted to express there are good people out there. There are great people out there. There are angry, scared, mean, trapped, struggling people out there too. I repeatedly like positive TLs. Positivity quotes. People who were welcoming or kind to me. I’m sorry to you that you have been disillusioned to be with us on Twitter. And I am sorry if you were someone bullied in that arena. And I’m sorry to BTS for all the people who don’t have good intentions that cause them or any ARMY to be hurt, feel sad or hurt, or worse, can’t get out of the negative thoughts. We have a pandemic going on. We have an epidemic of untreated mental health illnesses. We have lovely people in general or forced due to COVID. And then we still have everyday life. People go off for a million reasons. It hurts me. I dislike it. I wish I could stop it. Choice is all yours to do what is best for you just like it is up to me what is best for me. I hope the TLs calm down for you and you can enjoy this space again. Best to you.
I agree with this so much! I just posted something very similar on Twitter….regardless of how much we might love BTS, there is still a lot that is not right. You said it so much better than I did. There should be no excuse for the way people have been acting.
Thank you for replying. It's nice to have the feedback. Don't worry, while I sometimes feel discouraged, I also find positive conversation and relatable moots to keep me engaged. I hope that my words will hit home with others and inspire them to think twice before they react. We can be the light in the darkness.