If Your Parents Could See You Now

I always use a simple method of determining whether my behavior is acceptable. It’s not the fear of God, nor the possibility of going to hell, nor the wrath of others, but I simply ask myself, “Would my father approve?” And if I can’t give an honest yes, then I stop in my tracks. I use my dad as a standard of measurement because I always looked up to him. He was a great father, a compassionate human being, a lover of life, a giver of joy, and an honest individual. There’s no one I admire more in life, so it was easy to pick him as my guide even though he passed when I was only twelve. 

I was reminded of this last night, when I was cyber-bullied by dozens of strangers and a couple of followers after an innocent and lovable poke at BTS’s Park Jimin, when I stated (with a smiley-face) that I wasn’t fond of his over-sized glasses in a recent photo shoot. About an hour after my tweet, I noticed a buzz of activity (replies and quote re-tweets), and I was shocked by what I saw. 

“You need to go to bed grandma…”

“No one gives a damn about your opinions…”

“STFU you bi—h!”

“How dare you insult Jimin…”

“You should practice what you preach…”

“You owe Jimin an apology…”

“You’re just an attention seeker…”

“Shame on you…”

“Jimin is a fashion icon…”

“How dare you use the @bts_twt hashtag…”

And on, and on, and on. At first, I tried to explain that I meant no harm, but it did no good. The insults including name calling and swearing only escalated, as my tweet was continually circulated. So, I decided the only way to end it was to delete the tweet, and subsequently all the replies. I also had to block several people. 

A while later I decided to write another post stating how upset I was about an innocent opinion I expressed earlier, was turned into a bullying session. Well, I’m sure you already know what happened, and you’re correct. It began again, but only worse. I attempted to reply to some of them, but quickly dismissed the idea, because it wouldn’t make any sense to argue. And remember, misery loves company, so why give them fuel for their fire? So, I blocked everyone who chose to come out of the woodwork (they were all strangers – no one I followed) to stop the feeding frenzy and again, made sure every tweet and reply were deleted from Twitter. 

Saying I was not affected by this would be an abject lie. I was hurt, humiliated, insulted, disappointed with the behavior of others, and distraught. Thanks goodness I had my IBIS DM to talk to and another close friend. However, while they did their best to console me, I still felt rotten and went to bed with tears and a headache.

Upon waking up this morning, I thought once again about how easy it is to scream at others from the safety of your keyboard. Just type anything you want without regard for the individual on the other end. You don’t have to be familiar with the circumstances behind the comment, nor who the person is, or what they’re all about. Nope, just jump in, say the first thing that comes to your mind, and then ask others to join your unmitigated cause because it’s more fun that way, right? Did it make you feel better about yourself last night after assaulting me?

I wonder what their loved ones would say if they could experience their offspring online. 

Unfortunately, this is the second time in the past few weeks that this has happened to me (I wrote about this in a past blog), and I’m finding out that this is not a rare occurrence. One of my dear friends was called a pedophile (hint, she’s not 25) because she happens to adore BTS. Others have been called old hags and worse. Even friends in their late twenties, and thirties have been told to get off of Twitter, go home and stop neglecting their children, et al. And yesterday I watched a heart-broken middle-aged woman cry during a video she posted about recently being bullied online. 

And it’s not only age-related, although it’s a prevalent subject. Many are also put down, shunned or corrected if others feel you aren’t participating enough in voting, streaming and re-tweeting. Two friends were called out this week (and not nicely) because according to the person who contacted them, they weren’t using hashtags correctly. And anyone even having a slight difference of opinion, is attacked daily. Sadly, according to many who claim to be ARMY, you are required to like everything BTS says, does, sings, writes about, or wears.  And if you don’t, you are instantly lambasted. One of the comments from yesterday stated, “If you claim to be ARMY, you’re supposed to support our boys…” I’m sorry honey but supporting someone doesn’t mean you have to love everything they do or say. That not only goes for BTS, but for anyone you love including your boyfriend, or your husband, or your sister. And disagreeing with someone you love is natural. It’s a part of life. It’s called reality. How you do it, is what makes the difference.

So, in closing, I’d just like you to ask yourself, would the person you admire the most be proud of your actions? And what about BTS? Do you honestly think they’d approve of your treatment of others?

“In the middle of the road, in the moment you want to give up, shout out even louder: “So what?” – BTS, “So What”

“I think that there’s no need to live your life based on the standard of others.” Namjoon of BTS

“Isn’t a man someone who doesn’t care about what others think? A man does whatever he wants.” – Jungkook of BTS

“Find your name, find your voice by speaking yourself.”― Kim Namjoon of BTS

And BTW Jimin – you know I love you!